Monday. We met with one of our investigators. He's a really great guy, and I love him. We had a super solid lesson. Towards the end we started talking about the mission and how I was liking Brindisi and whether I missed Pescara or not. He then asked me a question that really really shook me. "La tua missione ha toccato qualcuno?" Which, for all of you who don't speak Italian, means "has your mission touched anyone?" Or, in other words, "has it changed anyone's life? Has it made someone better? Has it meant anything for anyone?" And I started getting choked up because these are questions I've already asked myself a thousand times over. The only response I could manage was "spero di sì", which means "I hope so."
That question has stuck with me. I probably shouldn't allow it to, but it has, and I can't seem to forget about it. It took me back to my first few transfers where I felt like I had to prove something to God before I could be worthy of his love. It brought back all the hopes and dreams I had for this experience before leaving. It reminded me of all the feelings I had as I got on a train and left a city that I felt I'd failed, that I'd let down. It's very easy in the mission to forget what's most important. We're in a world where everyday we total up numbers for what we do, every Tuesday we have meetings where we talk about our work, every week we have correlation and talk with our ward or branch mission leaders about how we've been doing, every Monday we report to the mission president on our week, and every Sunday we call our leaders and total our numbers for the past seven days. All I'm saying is that it's really easy (for me, at least) to lose the sense of why we came out here, and to get focused on those numbers. And when those numbers are 0's? It gets pretty hard to feel like you're having an impact. I imagine it's the same outside of the mission. We do good things, we try to share the gospel, we study, we work hard, we express love to all those around us - especially in our homes. But what happens when there's nothing to show for it?
And that's where things for me have changed (for those of you worrying that I'm having an awful experience and that I'm being negative, you may now breathe😂). That night I prayed and prayed and prayed for the ability to have relief, to know I was doing the right thing, to know my efforts aren't being wasted. In that moment, a few things popped into my head. 1) the words "continue in patience" 2) the scripture 3 Nephi 12:18 and 3) the phrase of a past mentor: "your mountain legs are coming".
Continue in patience. I knew it was a talk. The next morning I looked it up. It was given by elder Uchtdorf awhile ago.
A Mormon Message was made based on Uchtdorf's talk
The talk in its entirety
Here's my favorite part from the talk. "...patience was far more than simply waiting for something to happen--patience required actively working toward worthwhile goals and not getting discouraged when results didn’t appear instantly or without effort. There is an important concept here: patience is not passive resignation, nor is it failing to act because of our fears. Patience means active waiting and enduring. It means staying with something and doing all that we can--working, hoping, and exercising faith; bearing hardship with fortitude, even when the desires of our hearts are delayed. Patience is not simply enduring; it is enduring well!" I felt the confirmation that I was doing the right things and simply needed to continue doing them with the faith that good things will happen because of it. At another point he says "Often the deep valleys of our present will be understood only by looking back on them from the mountains of our future experience." We may not understand now why God's promised blessings are delayed or why this doesn't make sense to us, but the beautiful thing is that one day, that knowledge will come.
3 Nephi 12:18. It actually made no sense to me. Then I read the next few verses. There's been a mission wide topic we've been working on, and it's that of finding strength through the Atonement of Christ. It helped me realized I'd been forgetting to purposefully renew my spiritual and physical tanks by pleading for his help. I also thought of 3 Nephi 18:12
" 12 And I give unto you a commandment that ye shall do these things. And if ye shall always do these things blessed are ye, for ye are built upon my rock."
(...yeah I just flipped the 12:18 to 18:12. Figured there was something he wanted me to find from these) which only strengthened that thought. And as I read on through the next few verses, I read the phrase "Behold I am the light; I have set an example for you." Christ did the exact same thing I'm doing -- we're ALL doing -- now. He fought for the good. He did his best. He taught the gospel better than anyone. And did he have success? Yeah, you could say that. But if you look at the outward results, you could also say he was the least successful man of all time. If it was hard for him, it must of necessity be hard for us. But the good news is that we don't have to face it alone as he did. It will be hard, but he will be there to guide our paths. And surely He, the man who is best acquainted with fatigue and heartache, can turn to us and say "peace, be still."
Lastly, the story. This mentor told us a story of when he was on a difficult hiking journey. For the first bit of the journey, it seemed to be more than he could handle. His legs couldn't take it. But at one point, his legs were just fine. They no longer hurt. They could do it. It was still a difficult journey, but it was manageable. The same goes for us. As we continue in patience, find strength in the Savior and strive to follow him, our mountain legs will kick in.
You'll never know how much good you're doing. I promise you all that lives are changing and hearts are being touched because of your diligent efforts in fighting for the good. Don't give up! No effort is wasted when you're just trying your best to follow the example of Christ.
Vi voglio bene con tutto il mio cuore!☀️
Che la gloria sia sempre a Dio
Anz Hansen
No comments:
Post a Comment